Category: Uncategorized

Rest is enabling me to operate in situations in which I’d normally be trying to cope. I get a new situation and instead of responding with worry and anxiety, I can remain at rest and then figure out what to do. I’m starting to think that every situation can be useful.

I’ve been thinking about the projects I want to work on at the end of the thirty days and I want to make a new version of Spray Paint with more features. I would update the Gamemaker version, but I’ve hit something of a ceiling in Gamemaker. The “surface_getpixel” function is slow and I need…

More rest. I feel a constant steadiness, that no matter where I am or what I’m doing, I can always choose rest. If you had told me that a few years ago I would’ve been like, “That doesn’t make any sense.” But it does now.

It’s odd to have a different response to situations which normally make me anxious. Sometimes I’m like, “Should I be stressed out now?” I’m definitely still working on it, but it feels really good to be on my way.
PS: I did spend a few minutes today reading the Gamemaker and Godot documentation, but I didn’t actually make anything.

I feel like my daily life has become a rest training ground: every hour I get new situations to practice rest.

More progress: I feel like my peak non-restfulness is less than yesterday. Maybe I’m over analyzing this xD

I didn’t spend much time today actually resting, but I feel like I’m inching toward a constant state of restfulness.

Today I found something important and I actually started to rest.I found two podcast episodes by Graham Cooke: The Practice of Rest and The Practice of Rest – Part 2. I haven’t previously posted about being a Christian, probably in part because I don’t like a lot of things which are labeled as Christian, and…

Today I imagined. I lean back on my bed and the wall next to my head fades away. The room around me tumbles into space. The air is fresher than a new rain. I look out into a galaxy of stars. They swirl and dance in color. I reach out and swim among them.

It feels like I’m returning to things I left when I started focusing on making things. I didn’t leave them entirely, but their importance diminished. Like actually playing. Not games or pre-built experiences, but real play. Play which is only limited by my imagination. Physical things can help start it, but it lives in my…

It’s really nice to be able to experience things and not feel like I need to be looking for inspiration. Earlier it was raining and it was great to just experience it. I didn’t need to find something more or feel like I needed to remember it as a fragment to a future puzzle.

Yep, I rested today and didn’t create things. It feels like the part of my brain responsible for making things is finally taking a break.

I need to learn how to rest, so I’m taking a month off working on projects. I’ve found that I’m good at spending energy, but not at recovering it. It’s much easier for me to constantly work on things than to rest. I want to continue my other projects, but this needs to be what…